U KFC

KFC sponsors the cricket in Australia. I don’t know why. Fried chicken and sport go together like chalk and cheese. Poverty and education. Scunthorpe and dreams.
It makes me angry coz it’s ridiculous.

KFC is ridiculous.

Who makes their slogan “Finger licking good” and then includes a moist towlette? They know saliva alone can’t break down the layer of grease on your mits, so why make that the slogan?
KFC is ridiculous.
Last year during the cricket, they advertised special meal. Chicken, chips, coronary and a drink of your choice. It was called The Cricketers Box. Now, anyone who knows anything about cricket knows that a box is a sweaty plastic cup that protects your bits and pieces. It’s gross, but conducive to good health. Seldom do I desire fried chicken (sober), I hardly think packaging it alongside the testes of Danny that plays in the B team at Thornlie is gonna sway my decision.

KFC is ridiculous.

Their latest travesty against humankind is the Boneless Box. Made for those that want to enjoy chicken, without the pesky bones. What kind of fucking imbecile can’t deal with chicken bones!?! The fucken animal has EVOLVED to become more easily consumed! It’s next evolutionary step is to be born marinated and lay poached eggs!
Surely, whoever came up with this boneless chicken idea is the same person that brought us such self defeating ideas as mild chilli, minced meat and iced tea.

KFC is ridiculous.

I’ve realised, the only decent food they serve at KFC is corn. Good on em, I thought. Turns out though, you’re not meant to eat that. The corn is just an ‘in’ joke coz the guy that runs the place is called The Kernel.